Liberal in the Land of Conservative

So, let's try for full fledged heresy because I don't want to be accused of giving things only half effort.

While I have been wishing and praying for a Huckabee candidacy, it now appears as though it isn't going to happen. Why not? Given that those of faith have been in direct contact with the big guy upstairs and I have no doubt that Huckabee himself has put in a call or two (I suspect he has a direct line) to God, there must be something wrong. I mean, the Lord wouldn't allow one of his chosen people to be defeated, would he? Does a Huckabee loss disprove the existence of God? Does God just not really like Huckabee? Did John McCain pay off God to stay out of the race? So many questions, so few answers...

We demand answers God! Certainly, if Karl Rove can orchestrate a win for one of the least qualified candidates in history, then surely you can find the strength to give Huckabee the nomination. We all understand that it is a lot of work orchestrating an entire universe and smiting all those people that Pat Robertson says deserve to be smoten, but surely you can find time out of your busy ethereal existence to prove that Huckabee has the God seal of approval.

If not for me, God, at least do it for our good friend Andy Barnett. He has been wishing so hard (even though he had a brief loss of faith and backed that Mormon fellow) and has even been found quoting the David v. Goliath story from that book that you had written by your many ghost writers. I would really hate for his young believing heart to be dashed due to your continued absence in this race.

Your immediate attention in this matter will be greatly appreciated!