Dear Mr. Severson,
I understand that you may not have total control of the design and details found on your campaign website, but if you could please fix the numerous spelling errors and grammatical mistakes I would be much appreciated. While it is entirely expected that websites will have the occasional error, it is somewhat disheartening as an educator to have an individual who purports to tell me how to educate have so many spelling and grammatical errors.
So, let us begin at the beginning:
In the sentence directing readers to your biography, the word tells needs to be changed to the word tell. It WILL tell people about your military career. It WILL NOT tells them about your military career.
Under the blue arrow, you will find the word "has". You really ought to consider removing this word given that "there is also an email page" NOT "there is also has an email page".
Finally, the green arrows indicate places that you should consider using a comma to signify items in a list. While this is not always necessary, it does cut down on any confusion about the items within that list. For example, take this sentence:
There is a page on Dan’s stand on education, on taxes and support of business.
Without the comma after the word taxes, one might be led to believe that the taxes you are concerned most about are those affecting businesses and not those affecting the population as a whole.
Now that we have covered some of the most obvious errors found on the front page of your site, let us turn to your issue page:
Aside from the obvious need to clean up your columns and choose one font, there are several errors here that we need to discuss.
I will leave for another day an examination of all the places in which you purport something as undeniable fact without providing even the slightest shred of evidence. The last time that I checked, the Constitution you are referring to is still a proper noun and as such, needs to be
CAPITALIZED. I can understand missing an important capital such as the one applied to our Constitution once during a paragraph. However, you missed this obvious error twice during the paragraph. It is interesting that you would miss such a thing when the entire subject of your paragraph is the application of the document. How are we to believe that you understand the Constitution when you are unwilling to give its proper noun credentials?
While most people are aware of what losing their job means, I am not entirely certain people are clear about what loosing their job means. If I loose my job, are there fewer restrictions on what I can and cannot do? Are there fewer responsibilities? Losing your job sounds absolutely terrifying. However, loosing your job sounds like something people may want to look into further. Aside from the fear mongering over issues of energy, Severson has provided a new job related term to our national nomenclature.
To loose ones job!
I can only assume that you are a strong proponent of faith based
initiatives and not that you are seeking to initiate the lot of us into your local churches. I have my own church and don't really need any of the brand of initiation that you might be looking to implement.
This may be some sort of Freudian slip indicating the true agenda of Mr. Severson. He is seeking initiates and is going to be using the government in order to get those initiates. However, you weren't supposed to know that.
Just a quick question before we get to the error in this particular paragraph: Are you willing to admit that the people that you get your facts from have an agenda, or is it only the people with whom you disagree that have an agenda?
First, you need to change the word "effect" to "affect" because it is
NOT how much effect we have, but rather how much affect we have. Second, let me be gracious and re-write this sentence because it is so jumbled up that it is nearly incomprehensible.
"If global warming is going on, how much AFFECT do we as humans have on it? An even larger question is: Is Carbon dioxide a major contributor OF climate change?"
It does seem, Mr. Severson, that you have an inordinate number of errors on these two particular pages of your website. Perhaps, before you go lecturing my education colleagues and myself about accountability, you could clean up your site thereby gaining some authority.
