Liberal in the Land of Conservative

Ah, yes, totally equivalent. I often consider the mass extermination of a group of people to be of equal importance to the survival of a business entity. Can't you just see Bono and the rest of the world's aid organizations holding some sort of NYT Relief rally? In fact, I would suggest that they hold such a relief rally IN Darfur so as to show those people that there are people in the world whose suffering FAR exceeds their own.

[From TIME Quote of the Day]

Seriously, at what point do you become so deluded in your own self importance that you believe that saving a NEWSPAPER compares to the rape and murder of entire populations of people?

The sad news of the week is that after many productive years, ollie ox has been taken out to pasture. It is not entirely clear what the world will be like without a constant source of news about Tim Walz for all of us outside the 1st District to live vicariously through.

Do you ever wonder why the folks at Anti-Strib are always reposting their "rules" for commenting? It boggles the mind really because all of their content provides for such a civil debate. I just cannot imagine why the conversation would be coarsened by such high brow subjects as calling people dumb for living where the affects of nature might find them. When will people learn that natural disasters are all their fault and thus deserve no help for their reckless decision to build their houses in nature.

Come on Blue Man, it's not THAT crazy! I mean those damned heathen conservatives have been forsaking God for quite some time and probably deserve a good smiting...

ALERT! Please stop demogoguing the issue of guns but please do join the organization which is responsible for the vast majority of demogoguery. Are we clear?

Well of course it is unfair! If a gay couple is allowed to make end of life decisions for their partner, then the end of life decisions that I make in my heterosexual relationship will be severely damaged. All I will be able to think about if and when my wife passes is what decision some gay couple made...

Wouldn't that be great? An army of Michele Bachmann's roaming the United States saving us from non-existent plots to replace the dollar and protecting us from those evil CFC light bulbs. Their motto could be "saving the world, one imaginary threat at a time!"

Holy Crap! Did you know that Allah is actually a vampire? Seriously, it really does help the cause of peace when both extremes consider the other the devil incarnate. It makes you look so much more reasonable than the Islamic extremists who describe Christians as the devil incarnate.

It is time once again for the things you can learn from Lake Minnetonka Liberty:

Dear Minnpost, here in the world of reality we call that a backhanded compliment but hey, you keep up the great work with that hard hitting journalism...

Come on people, let's not pick on Dave Senjem. After all, it's a really difficult job to preside over an irrelevant minority.

I am OUTRAGED! OUTRAGED I tell you! How dare MNPublius tell me what I should or should not be outraged about. We should be living in a world where the slightest misstep by another public official is held up as an example of how "we" are better than "them".

Well, I guess that answers the whole global warming thing. Sure am glad the infallible word of god clears up all that "science" crap. In other news, the church is rescinding that apology to Galileo as it is understood that the sun revolves around the Earth and all you sun centric universe alarmists are total nazis!

Well thank god they are talking about the really important matters. I would hate to think that conservatism has been reduced to pissing and moaning about the gifts our President presents to other leaders.

Oh that is too funny! Of all the April Fool's Jokes I have read or heard, this one is the funniest. Where do they think this stuff up? Who says conservatives don't have a sense of humor. She is so right when she says conservatives are respectful of other viewpoints. They certainly aren't the ones calling people they disagree with socialist, communist, fascist, muslim terrorists. They would NEVER do such a thing...

Oh, Leo, little do you realize that the joke IS your blog...

It is now time for the week according to Andy Aplikowski:

To review, Andy is not very happy with that Barack Obama guy! Coming next week, Andy will demonstrate once again just how bad Obama is by complaining about his footwear, the toothpaste he uses, and the Anti-American way he walks.

Wait, so you are telling me that the problem for the MNGOP is that they are TOO SMART? Gosh, they must be too modest as well...

YEAH! Let's be partisan bastards using the logic that they do it too. That is sure to solve things...

WHAT! You mean to tell me that King Banaian is wrong about something? I refuse, REFUSE I TELL YOU, to believe that the infallible word of Banaian could be questioned!

We here at Liberal in the Land of Conservative encourage the current media strategy of our Congresswoman. Why? Who better to demonstrate to the country what the Republican Party has to offer. Those offerings include imaginary battles against nonexistent problems and calls for armed insurrection...

So there is this brand new blog in Minnesota that is all the rage. The build up to the big roll out has been dramatic due in no small part to Dusty Trice pimping himself out all over the Twitterverse.

It is particularly amusing to see that Mr. Trice has chosen Norm Coleman and Michele Bachmann as his subjects of choice. I hate to rag on Trice so early in his blog career & I certainly don't want to pick a fight with a self described political ninja (I tried that one time and got the beat down) but is this really what we have been holding our breath for? Another examination of just how crazy Bachmann is and more content about the Coleman v. Franken story. Perhaps you could also do some stories on how the grass seems to keep growing and the Earth continues to spin dutifully around the sun (although that one might be disputed by conservatives).

As I am little more than a blip in the blogoverse and Trice probably already has many more readers than I do this message will probably fall on deaf ears. However, could we please stop fooling ourselves into believing that Dusty Trice is shiny and new? It's the same old political topics of choice for liberals in Minnesota repackaged.

When will our friend from the southern district realize that the true emotional health of the 6th District has much to do with its inversely poor mental health? It is quite easy to be emotionally healthy when one is living with the delusional belief that Michele Bachmann is an effective and honest representative.

Those damned communists are at it again trying to beat down the wealthy who so generously grace us with their presence on this Earth! These are people we should be treating as demigods. Unfortunately, the filthy communists are trying to lift up those lazy poor people instead of forcing them to lift themselves up by their bootstraps. Don't they realize that the demigods amongst us will trickle down upon us all the wealth we will ever need (although they will decide in their infinite wisdom how much we "need").

The DFL proposes deep cuts across the board and conservatives whine. The DFL proposes tax increases and conservatives whine. Let's play what do these two sentences have in common...

I do so love when people take a historical event, entirely misinterpret its meaning, and use it as a clarion call to organize the equally uninformed masses. Just to review, the Boston Tea Party was an organized effort to protest a trade deal foisted upon the colonies by Parliament that would have taxed them without their representation despite the fact that it actually lowered the price of tea. Just because you lost an election doesn't mean you don't have representation! Perhaps you should stick to hating brown people and obsessing about mythical literary figures rather than trying to interpret history.

Don't you realize that those aren't earmarks? They are requests for already appropriated monies to be spent on a particular project within the district. Huge difference, HUGE!

Isn't it nice to see the conservatives claiming that we DON'T need to form militias and begin an armed revolution. What a calm and level headed group. Although I might question sanity of my ideological brethren if a post such as this is necessary. I'm just saying...

Here are some things I learned from Freedom Dogs:

Those damned Democrats! How DARE they go out and actually TALK to people about the agenda put forward by President Obama. Damn you communism, DAMN YOU! It just chaps my hide when people try to organize others.

I have come to realize that this site is the perfect example of the rugged individualism expressed by the conservative movement. Chocked full of original content, he strives to make success for himself rather than riding the coattails of others.

If you haven't begun reading Lake Minnetonka Liberty, then you are really missing out. Where else can you learn the following things:

Come on, wouldn't it be more economically viable to make road construction and bridge building a part of the private sector. Why do I need the government directing where a road should or should not be? This is about the freedom to build my road wherever I damn well please!

Republicans would NEVER restrict access to the media, would they? It's not like they would hold a district convention and keep ALL media from recording the events. Right?

WHAT! Tim Pawlenty is running for President? Now there is some hard hitting investigatory journalism...

Wait one hot minute! Are you telling me that if we were to let business do whatever they want, then they will, in fact, do whatever they want and may not act as the beacons of virtue that free marketers assume they will be? SHOCKED, I tell you, SHOCKED!

Well that was quick. It only took the folks at MNPublius a week to indoctrinate Jeff Rosenberg and change him from a great analytical writer to one spouting useless rhetorical crap. Poor Jeff and his handy dandy graphs gone forever...

Why does it take so many words for you to simply say, DAMN POOR PEOPLE?

I certainly would scared if I were a member of the Olmstead County DFL. Why? This guy is an absolute EXPERT at copying and pasting stories from across the intertubes. Those are some serious skills...

Why does Leo Pusateri hate Christianity so much?

This week in Andy Aplikowski hilarity (it's been a fun one):

So I discovered this week that both Mitch Berg and I are from North Dakota. That being said, let me state that the views expressed by Berg DO NOT necessarily reflect the opinions of most or any North Dakotans!

Hey, you leave King Banaian ALONE! He is an economist you know and is therefore above criticism. It's not as though he uses his position as an economist to push conservative ideology!

ALERT! The Republican Party of Minnesota is dead. Here I thought it was just void of ideas and filled with vitriolic characters with no real leadership value. Had I known it was actually dead I would have been slightly more sympathetic.

So Drew Emmer really hates all the government spending and highlighted this: Big Lake is getting $500,000.00 for their regional ice arena. Should we tell him that it was requested by Mary Kiffmeyer (R)?

A recent tweet from SCSUScholars (On the show today, we'll ask the question, what would Reagan do (if he lived in these times)? #finalword) got me wondering about a few things.

First, isn't one of the core principles of conservatism a fervent belief in self reliance? The idea that you should be able to do things on your own without the assistance or interference from any other person or government?

Second, If this is one of the core principles of conservatism, then why is the above question about what Reagan would do asked so often? A party which prides itself on self reliance and decries the reliance on others really ought not be relying on Ronald Reagan for its ideas and solutions.

Perhaps I am missing something here but it seems to me that conservatives are oft to ridicule those who believe that we must rely on each other for our personal success yet don't even realize that they rely almost solely on someone else to tell them what they believe and what they should do.

[Photo via Cafe Press]

I have warned you people time and time again not to mess with The Ox! Did you listen? NOPE. Now I am not saying she will hunt you down but when she is linking to Andy Aplikowski for support of her beliefs you have to believe that she might.

Hooray, it's time to make fun of children who are strategically programmed to love Ronald Reagan and hate those evil liberals. Does it say something about the conservative movement that their newest idea makers are a fourteen year old kid and a guy who pretends to be a plumber?

That bastard President had the AUDACITY to have a Super Bowl Party? Oh, I hate him so much! I mean President Bush only partied when ONE city was under water.

You really have to hand it to the folks over at Dump Bachmann. Day after day they dive head first into the seventh level of hell to keep track of Michele Bachmann. If I cared this much about any one subject, I too would have delusional fantasies...

ALERT! When Minnesotans attend listening sessions to fight for programs that work, they are lazy whining welfare consuming communists whose opinions shouldn't matter. When Minnesotans call in to a phone number to verbally assault all things government why those are the REAL Minnesotans. By the way, I really enjoyed the prep work given to each caller and the rule that only private sector citizens were allowed to respond!

Well that SUCKS! Now who am I going to go to for direction on which people should be loathed and feared? Has Barack Obama destroyed our social fabric already that Dobson is just waving the white flag.

TRANSLATION: Stop picking on my President you meanie face!

I just cannot understand how conservatives have lost their majorities. They have done all the work of foregoing ideas for namecalling. What more do you people want? Hell, they have even made up folksy songs about how global issues can be debunked by examining localized occurences.

So the conservatives have chosen to make as the leading intellectual figures of their party a Governor from Alaska, a plumber, and a 14 year old kid? They do realize that being in the minority does not necessarilly mean they have to give up, do they?

Seriously, what is the purpose of this blog? I have been hoping and praying to one day find an original thought and not a wholly copied and pasted story from elsewhere. I am not entirely sure one can refer to oneself as heavy handed when one never uses said hand.

It is time once again for the things I learned from skimming Lake Minnetonka Liberty:

You leave those poor congresspeople ALONE! The obvious reason that they are opposed to earmarks is that the realize that they have a problem and are seeking a remedy to their illness. Call it the 12 step program for earmarking.

JUST A REMINDER TO EVERYONE: Michael Brodkorb runs his own blog and has in no way been instructed by his bosses in the Minnesota Senate Republican Caucus to feverishly attack the opposition through that blog! Seriously, this information just comes to him and is certainly not obtained through the course of his actual job. I just wanted to clear that up for everyone...

I like MinnesotaBrown and all but he writes some of the most boring crap I have read in all my life. Can't you PLEASE write something that is more mockable? Ideas include completely incendiery remarks about Republicans or Democrats in the area. Also, highly partisan rhetoric that is obviously not helpful to the overall debate would be acceptable. Just a request...

Why do poor people expect to eat more than 125 million meals per year in the first place? That seems to be an excessive amount of meals by any standard.

Well now I am just ANGRY! I was under the impression that Obama was going to bilk the rich and so I voted for him now you tell me that it just isn't true?

That silly Dave Mindeman, doesn't he know that facts and figures and nobel prize winning economists don't matter? What matters is yelling really really loud about socialism and communism and the end of freedom as we know it...

Is there anything better than faux outrage to advance your political agenda? Although I am proud to see that the usual Al Franken lovefest that typically eminates from MNPublius has given way to other, equally vapid, DFL talking points.

Dear Paleocon, do you think it might be possible for you and "Heavy-Handed" to team up? That way we would only have to visit ONE site in order to see copied and pasted materials from around the internets. Just a suggestion...

Hey buddy, you need to pick a side! We have no room in this country for people who think both political parties are abject failures. It makes it really hard to mock and ridicule you when you acknowledge that neither party is perfect, so KNOCK IT OFF!

Now Barack Hussein Obama is worse even than Hugo Chavez? Is there any way you guys could create some sort of flow chart or handbook so that I might be able to follow the conservative meme of the day? I get that he is a scary muslim who hates America but the interchangeable uses of the words Communist, Socialist, Fascist, Dictator is getting a bit muddled.

You mean to tell me that T-Paw suggested that Republicans need to begin coming up with their own ideas and stop recycling Reagan? HOW DARE HE! We don't need no stinkin' new ideas, the old worn out ones have worked just fine so far. In other news, before clicking on this link you need to make sure you picture Andy Aplikowski with his overalls and pitchfork jumping up and down because he is hoping mad. Kind of makes you giggle...

Dear Mitch Berg, stop writing about things which I am forced to agree with you on! We are supposed to be mortal ideological enemies and as such should NEVER find ourselves in agreement on ANYTHING. In other Mitch Berg news:

Two themes emerged from Minnesota Independent this week: Michele Bachmann is still an idiot & Tim Pawlenty is unpopular, hates Ronald Reagan, and loves God. Was there some sort of Captain Obvious Award up for grabs this week that I was unaware of?

Twitter, like so many other things in life, deserves its share of mockery. Excellent work! By the way, you can follow me on twitter by clicking HERE. I tweet A LOT of boring and useless crap.

It looks like Jeff Rosenberg will be bringing his handy dandy graphs and so called facts over to MNPublius. Bets will now be taken as to how long before Rosenberg can only write about how super awesome Al Franken is...

I realize that this is further proof that I am an elitist America hating communist, but let's be honest people: TATOR TOT HOTDISH SUCKS!

Are you really still pushing this meme? Really? Let's review: Your thesis is that Bush loves the military more because he gave a few high fives and Obama hates the military because he didn't. Might a better indicator be which President sacrificed fewer of our young men and women to die? I guess I would just rather be alive and forego the high five than get the high five and then be sent to fight in a senseless conflict. But hey, that's just me...

Let me be clear, I am NOT suggesting that this image is the visual representation of the current Republican Party. I would NEVER suggest that their party is so far out of the mainstream that to any regular person their appearance is jarring and perhaps somewhat comical. There is certainly NO correlation between the blank vapid stare of this woman and the empty black hole that is the Republican Party. Once again, I am not suggesting anything of the sort and anyone reading some deeper meaning into this image is OBVIOUSLY not reading the carefully worded disclaimer associated with the image!

I received a package in the mail this week with a horse head in it! My only conclusion is that a certain bovine blogger from the 1st Congressional District didn't appreciate my gentle ribbing of Representative Tim Walz last week. Now I am not usually swayed by people who dislike what I write but cows scare the HELL out of me so this week I have taken a different tact:

Representative Tim Walz did the MOST AMAZING thing this week! He systematically saved health care, education, agriculture, and the economy ALL BY HIMSELF. To top it off he is graciously returning his entire income and will live in a small sod shack near the Washington Monument. I am also quite certain that he can fly and shoot laser beams from his eyes.

So I read this title, 'How I Spent Friday The 13th', and excitedly click assuming I will be reading a fantistical story of surviving unfortunate events or slaying evil doers or even winning some fabulous prize coupled with analysis on the mythology of the 13th as an unlucky day. What do I get? Some boring crap about how Republicans are wrong. Why are always so shocked about this? Haven't we solidified that theory into a law yet?

Let me get this straight, we "allowed" an entire group of people to settle here in Minnesota? I was always under this weird delusion that people had freedom of movement and could thus live wherever they pleased. I really wish someone would have informed me that we could systematically tell an ethnic group that they can't live here because those damn Norwegians are really causing problems. Ain't bigotry grand!

ALERT! Michele Bachmann said something dumb. In other news, the sun still rises, the tides still come in and out, and the mail continues to be delivered.

Oops, apparently it was more than one dumb thing. Give the Congresswoman some credit, she is nothing if not consistent.

Just so you people are clear, liberal indoctrination in schools is both scary and wrong. However, conservative indoctrination is super cool and needs to be celebrated. Quick question though: if this guy gave this exact same speech during a Republican administration, would he be labelled an Anti-American traitor?

Really? Gay marriage will SAVE the economy? I am all for hyperbole and sometimes even refer to myself as Mr. Hyperbole but this is a logical leap of epic proportions. Don't you people realize that the economy is straight and a fundamentalist Christian to boot?

The award for most mind numbingly obvious statement of the week goes to our good friends at Fraters Libertas for this gem: "With President Barack Obama in office the Democrats control the White House". It must have taken some real journalistic skill and investigatory time to uncover that one. In other news, with Tim Pawlenty in office the Republicans control the Governors Office!

I get it, so this is who the right was talking about when they said that some Obama supporters had an unhealthy obsession with him. The President is good and all but do you really have to ramble on as if writing in your diary about the crush you have on a boy?

You go Republicans! You throw those bastard moderates right out of the party. Who needs to be in a simple minority? Go for the big prize, the always influential super minority. Say, maybe Ron Carey could do for you nationally what he has done for the Republican Party here in Minnesota.

Dear Gavin Sullivan, Ashwin Madia LOST! Could you PLEASE let it go! Somebody call an intervention...

Do I want the latest data and research on why public schools suck? OBVIOUSLY, because there is no organization out there I trust more to provide objective data than one called Alliance For School Choice. Perhaps next week I will find data and research from the AFL-CIO on how unions are super awesome!

An answer to Lake Minnetonka Liberty: YES! Let me tell you why: not because of any wish or desire to be a socialist but for the simple reason that it infuriates those like you. That's right, I am happy we are all socialists now for no other reason than spite.

The Admiral had an admirable week so let us sum up his stellar postings:

So you spent countless hours finding, splicing together, and uploading videos that only a handful of people actually viewed or give two hoots about? Man you are dumber than I thought!

Note to readers: I have NEVER claimed that this tripe is worth your time. Hell, I barely read the crap I write...

Come on, can't we keep the bridge named after a 16th century conquistador whose travels through the southeastern United States brought pestilence and the destruction of vast numbers of native peoples? Damn liberal hippies and your need to make amends with the past!

So this Two Putt Tommy (obviously some veiled reference) character is out pimping some Crown Hydro Project. OBVIOUSLY an eco-liberal buying into this renewable clean energy nonsense. It's a good thing those conservatives on the Minneapolis Park Board are adamantly opposed to the whole thing.

Note to self: NEVER become so obsessed with labels and the use of those labels that you lose your mind entirely.

Is there some fake Abe Lincoln running around tricking people that I am currently not aware of? Anyway, thanks for clearing up the confusion I guess.

Seriously, you need to start putting a little blip of explanation into these things because I am now under the impression that REALLY expensive red ink looks like three women and a some random guy. So confused, so very very confused...

I get that you are bitter and I get that you perhaps want news organizations to report the world primarily as YOU see it. However, I have to wonder how you make the logical leap from Barack Obama (nice use of the middle name, by the way, it really is starting to make me think he is a Muslim) hitting his head to him being a liar. Just a little curious...

BEWARE, if you are ever in a gun fight with Andy Aplikowski it will not be the chest area that you need worry about. Either he is really good and will shoot you in your crotch or he is really bad and now you have bullets in your crotch!

YOU SAID THAT! Andy, you are the funniest person in the world. That you took that wrong number and made what to most people would be the most obvious comment is simply priceless. You truly are a state treasure...

Well folks, its all over for me. Why, you ask? It's simple really, because when Mitch Berg labels you "not so bright" you are immediately shunned from all society. Certainly there is no way to recover from this proverbial kiss of death. As I understand things, Berg makes or breaks you as a blogger in the state nay, the WORLD! Incidentally, Mitch, I couldn't agree more about the Sarah Palin thing. We liberals seeth at the thought of how conservative Palin could battle her way to the highest office in a conservative state. Honestly, there really is no higher pinnacle than that of Governor of Alaska and we are so angry we didn't get there first. We are also particularly angry at her amazing ability to read EVERY news source available in the world today and her ability to thwart the Russian invasions of Alaska.

Here are the two things I learned from skimming this week:

If one party is making stuff up, then you simply need to make up BIGGER stuff. Why? Perhaps they are looking for a friendly neighborhood game of hyperbole. If they question saving the salt marsh mouse, then you come back reminding them that this particular mouse has the ability to cure cancer and why are they opposed to curing cancer. This is basic politics people...

Yes, what if we sent a letter demanding our freedom to continue the current economic death spiral? What if we want our county to live in economic peril? Joblessness makes you FREE!

Now I am neither a mathematician nor an economist but I have to wonder if this particular list refutes a consensus. Perhaps you need to look up the word consensus...

ALERT! ALERT! Drew Emmer doesn't like President Obama. I never would have guessed that in a MILLION years.

So, apparently this week marked the birthday of some former President whose mere mention sends conservative hearts all a flutter. For a party dominated by homophobic tendencies, you really have to admire how openly these conservative men express their love for another man. So, to help them express their secret man love for Ronald Reagan, I put up a sweet picture of Reagan in a swimsuit. Enjoy it boys!

Representative Walz decided to sign on to some boring legislation about some 19th century technology that no one really cares about. Come on Tim, you can do better than that! Isn't there a 'We Love Puppies' Act or 'Make Congresspeople Beg For Food' Initiative that you could be sponsoring instead?

That Anti-Strib is so insightful! Who are we going to hate now that George W. Bush is gone? It is quite the conundrum given that all the big ones are taken. The conservatives already have a lock on hating poor people, minorities, immigrants, muslims, and liberals. Our choices are limited but I just know if we try hard enough we liberals can find something or someone to hate with the same passion and virulence as conservatives.

Hooray, it's time for a new Magna Carta in which the second tier aristocracy rises up against the King and demands that they too have rights but conveniently leaves out the lower level masses. Wait, isn't this the system we currently have in place? Is it too much to ask that when you use a historical reference that you research it a little bit so as to know if you are using it correctly?

Leave it to the Nigerians to beat the United States in the race to erase the gay. This is just another example of our failed education system. It's a sad day when the country of Nigeria can out hate the United States. The good news, though, is that with the election of Al Franken, Minnesota has become the next Gomorrah and our official Biblical smiting is close at hand! At least Minnesota knows how to compete with the likes of Nigeria!

Holy Crap, Pete Sessions and the Republican Party have decided to join the Taliban insurgency? I guess I would have thought they would be more admirers of a Pol Pot style but I guess I was wrong.

You should totally get a shirt that says, "1.20.09 Dawn of New Error". If the guy could not solve all of the nations problems in two weeks, then he has obviously failed. It's not like those wacko lefties could actually point to things like torture and Katrina and wiretapping and endless war as examples of their end of an error argument.

The Stalinists are coming! The Stalinists are coming! Leo Pusateri is galloping courageously through the town to warn that they are coming for your guns. Well, actually they are just asking that you obtain a license to own a gun but it is a lot like coming to take your guns. Well, actually it is more like one piece of legislation that has only made it to committee, has only one sponsor, and has people get a license to own a gun but there is still lots to be alarmed about. Think about it, our enemy is actually holding training sessions on how to talk to voters and other people that might have opposing views. OH THE HUMANITY!

I love using children as analogies for complex adult issues! Perhaps, in your analogy, Olivia could have also reminded us that the person and party that had been elected the last time only gave ice cream to the wealthy kids and told the poor kids to get a job and that the wealthy kids ice cream would eventually trickle down upon them.

With all of the other bad economic news, it is good to know that gang membership is healthy and a growing sector. In other news, we now know that you can get a full weeks worth of posts out of the simple premise that liberals are bastards!

The one thing I learned from skimming this week:

It is only appropriate for Republicans to claim that they won an election thus giving them the power to do whatever they want. When this type of rhetoric is used by a Democrat, then it is a highly inappropriate faux pas. I hope this clears things up a bit...

WHAT? George W. Bush didn't show respect to the office of the President? That couldn't possibly be true because from what I remember of the last eight years there has been nothing but sunshine and lollipops.

Hooray, its Black History Month. A time to learn about all the neat things that George Washington Carver did with peanuts!

Why, teacher's, why can't you just be satisfied with the paltry salaries already offered to you? Damn greedy bastards!

Do we really have to have this argument over and over again? The more wealth we give to the rich the more generous they will be in trickling it down upon the undeserving masses. It is basic economics people...

Apparently the DFL has decided to grow a pair. Don't expect this to last long because Tim Pawlenty has magical powers that render the massive DFL majorities in the legislature impotent.

So Amy Klobuchar is funny and MNPublius decided to step back from their normal schedule of Franken infatuation (it's becoming something of a Dionysian Party) to give her props. Don't worry folks, they will be back to their regular scheduled "We Heart Franken" theme soon!

Are we really still talking about this woman? Don't we have better things to talk about? Such as the weather or the ins and outs of a prefrontal lobotomy.

WAIT, so most black people are Democrats because of the peer pressure? Here I thought most black people are Democrats because the Republican Party long ago decided to abandon them for a southern strategy.

Do you think maybe that if you are going to call the President a fearmonger, then you should hold off using his middle name as a method of fearmongering? Just a thought...

Now some guy with no real executive or legislative authority is going to take away our guns? It makes sense to me...

Just in case you are thinking of clicking on these links and visiting the home of super Psychologist, Leo Pusateri, let me sum them up for you: Ramble Ramble, Hussein, Ramble Ramble, we need more guns, Ramble Ramble, I hate Democrats with a blinding passion that borders on the ridiculous, Ramble Ramble.

If there are any better incoherent rambling rants than those of Andy Aplikowski that exist within the Minnesota blogosphere, then I haven't found them. The hyperbole is superb. The paranoia is like a fine wine. The fact that he really buys what he writes makes for a hilarious read.

Yeah, we are still talking about the Fairness Doctrine. Between that and taking away our guns, the conservatives are going to have plenty to discuss over the next four years. I'm glad we liberals could be of assistance in keeping the right wing conspiracy theory machine humming along.

Don't be so hard on Janet! After all, she WAS talking about government that helps poor people as being the bad government. When government helps her and other relatively well off people it is a legitimate function.

So, do you think there is any significance to the fact that Repya learned this information at 4:20? I'm just saying, it seems like an appropriate time to learn about anything from the Republican Party.

That kooky liberal, Jeff Rosenberg, is blaming everything on those damned Republicans again and using handy dandy graphs to justify this argument. Do we really need to provide evidence? Can't we just yell and curse about how they are unpatriotic bastards who are ruining America? Let's stop all this empirical evidence crap and get back to good old fashioned unsubstantiated name calling.

It warms my heart to read the vitriol and verbal spasms of Drew Emmer.

Why oh why have you forsaken us, Mr. Obama? After being in office for five days I have yet to see my street paved with gold nor have I been given my complimentary pile of money from the wealthy you promised to bilk in my honor. The Republicans claimed you would do all these things and I was excited for your victory but it has not yet come to pass. Isn't five days enough to get us out of war, remake the economy so that there are no poor, and solve all the problems Bush left us with? Maybe next week?

I learned this week that Tim Walz is obviously a secret socialist menace. Why else would he get excited to be "called into service" by the Socialist-in-Chief? Come on, Mr. Walz, no one who isn't a full blown communist sympathizer would want to hear about the "common good". Note to Michele Bachmann: I found the first person for that investigation you were talking about!

You know something, it is really damned annoying when you lefties write reasonable and logically sound posts. Why can't you just call for wealthy people to become slaves of the poor? At least then I would be able to recognize your evilness as described by the righties. So, KNOCK IT OFF!

Before you click on THIS LINK, let me set the scene for you. First, you must keep fresh in your mind the image to the left. Second, you must visualize this little boy writing this post while stomping his foot in whiny annoyance. Finally, you need to think to yourself how unfair it is that Democrats keep conservative members of their party in the ranks while Republicans beat down and kick out anyone who might have the slightest scent of liberal. Actually, you don't even need to read the post because I pretty much gave you the gist of it.




I am in total agreement HERE! I know that when I used the, 'he did it first' defense with parents and other authority figures it always came across as a well reasoned argument. Perhaps next you could use the ever popular 'liar liar pants on fire' retort or the 'I'm rubber your glue' defense. Maybe, just maybe taking your ball and going home will endear you to the people.

Hey man, lay off Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney! These two guys have had a lot of work to do over the past eight years. Between making a mediocre President look good by sheer comparison and defending the mind-boggling stupidity of decisions made by this administration, they are bound to be worn out and tired.

Wait one hot minute! Didn't we learn over the past eight years that protest and dissent are BAD THINGS? Congratulations, Paulites and other righties, for making protest acceptable again although it is really weird that you are resurrecting this practice on the day we changed to a Democratic Administration. Well, I guess you know best! In other news, the communications team that makes Michele Bachmann look oh so good is branching out to make other Republican leaders come off just as super awesome. You would think they would be tired from all the spin they had to provide for Bachmann.

Yes, thank you President Bush! Thank You for not locking me up in one of your secret prison's. Thank You for not waterboarding me. Thank You for listening in to my phone calls because quite frankly, I need monitoring. Thank You for making me believe again that merely average is plenty good for the White House. Thank You for explaining that a country with no logical connections to 9/11 is the OBVIOUS front for the war on terror. THANK YOU!

NO, Mr. Truscott, this country is NOT about any big dream! It is about twisting and manipulating the words of other people so as to make them look like they hate America and are therefore unfit to run this country. So, take your fancy schmancy word prayers and begin the attacking because we have no place in American politics and life for people that are going to be all common sense and concilliatory. See, I knew you could do it!

Nobody likes hope and change. Why can't we embrace fear and inaction once again?

But if we end the culture war, what the hell are we going to write about on our blogs?

Is it at all ironic that a member of the hard right would use the writings and beliefs of a man who grew out of the Unitarian Church (i.e. liberal group that denies the divinity of Christ as well as the trinity) and was once a member of Brook Farm (a utopian community based on the principle of cooperation) to lambast the utopian sentiments of Barack Obama?

Yes, more thank you's to President Bush for doing what you "thought" was right even though the majority of the WORLD knew you were wrong. It takes a true leader to give a middle finger to the world and do whatever you want. Oh, and by the way, I LOVE the liberals are bring on the apocalypse meme. It warms my heart to know that striving for peace and working towards an end to racism really piss off the Lord enough to bring him down to smite us. God demands WAR and HATRED!

DAMN IT PEOPLE, who went and spilled the beans that 'progressive' is code word for America hating super communist? Whoever you are, you are soooo kicked out of the club! Apparently, singing "Hey, Hey... Goodbye!" to the outgoing President is extremely hateful but calling on people to "pull a sirhan sirhan" on Barack Obama well that is just a reasonable response to someone with whom you have philosophical disagreements. Are we clear?

I cannot believe that the Republican Party or conservatives would LIE! I am shocked, shocked I tell you!

The two things I learned from skimming this week:

Really, Matt Entenza? Really?

Well of course poor people and labor unions are the problem! Don't you get it? Labor Unions are bad because then we have to pay people a reasonable wage and poor people need to just get off their butts and work three or four jobs. That way, we will be able to pay them substantially less without unionization and we will have three to four times the workforce. It is an economic stimulus that is destined for greatness!

Don't you just love it when old myths re-emerge?

There are few things that fill me with more soaring optimism than reading the writings of one Andy Aplikowski. He truly is a national treasure of the American spirit!

Did the party of George W. Bush just accuse someone else of hubris? Oh, will the hilarity never end?

Why oh why must we demand accountability and results from charter schools! Never mind that they do no better than their public school counterparts, we need to give them free reign and lots of extra money. As for those damned public schools, we demand results and don't tell us money will solve the problem! Does that about sum it up, Mitch?

If God told you to do something and you failed, then does that make God a failure as well? Just a thought...

Are you telling me that the DFL leadership PROMOTED a conservative Democrat to positions of power? I thought we were supposed to be weeding these people out and demanding ideological purity? I totally joined the wrong party...

His first mistake? Really? What about being a terrorist loving super secret muslim communist hell bent on destroying America?

It seems as though Jeff Rosenberg is "tracking" the Minnesota Legislature. I wonder how he was able to get all those tags on all those members of our state government. Do you think he had any trouble tranquilizing Seifert? That guy doesn't go down easy I bet!

I really hate it when I agree with someone at True North! Will you people just stick to writing about how much liberals, unions, poor people, gays, and immigrants suck so that we can stop this bipartisan agreement CRAP. By the way, if your son wore that shirt to my public school I would have a good laugh and then congratulate him on being politically active at such a young age. Not the response you were hoping for, huh?

Due to the faltering economy and various other budgetary concerns, the daily romp through the Minnesota blogosphere has been consolidated into a weekly romp published each Saturday. This new version will have five times more links and double the snark of the daily version.

As a teacher I am consistently confronted with the problem of grade inflation in our society. People are under the impression that they deserve to get an 'A' simply because they TRIED to make the right choice. While trying is admirable and one should never give up, when you try and try but are wrong over and over it may be time to reexamine the process by which you come to these conclusions. Sure, you made some tough decisions but the simple task of making a decision when that decision is so very wrong doesn't get you an 'A'. The very best you can do when trying but consistently failing is an 'F' or perhaps a 'D' if you are trying your damnedest but aren't intellectually cut out for the assignment. We as a society have got to stop heralding mediocrity and giving too much credit for simple participation...

You can always count on Ollie Ox to seek out and destroy media outlets who dare spread falsehoods about Congressman Tim Walz much like a raging bull rumbling through the streets of Pamplona. As I and others have noted before, when you mess with the Ox don't be surprised when you get the horns! Although, her obsession with felines and livestock may have caused her to slip a bit this week. Also this week, it appears as though Walz wants to remain poor and even force every other member of Congress to live in poverty! I understand, Representative Walz, that YOU are used to living like a pauper given your background as a teacher but what about these other members will be unable to survive on less than $174,000?

Charlie Quimby did an excellent job this week of tearing Timmy Pawlenty and his kitchen table meme limb from limb. The idea that families or businesses would ONLY cut and not attempt to find new sources of income is entirely ludicrous. In the past six years I have been forced from time to time to work jobs in addition to my teaching duties. Yes we cut some things but we found that there were so few areas that we could cut that more income was the wiser decision.

ALERT! Tim Pawlenty is Ronald Reagan back from the dead... Also, when using a well known phrase that was not actually used by the person it is associated with, could you please come within at least a mile of using it properly? Just a thought...

So, in the past 100 years it has been a Democrat that involved the United States in World War I, World War II, Korea, Vietnam, and the Cold War but we are OBVIOUSLY weak on national security. When you put these words you use together, do you actually look at the order in which you put them or do you just HOPE they will fall into a coherent message? Oh, I get it, words carry little meaning for you and thus you bear no responsibility for the ones you use. Sorry, I was under the impression that words had both meaning and history behind them.

Jeff Fecke is still obsessed with that Bush fellow and is only on post #10 of what will undoubtedly be a 2,920 post journey to effectively catalogue the worst moments of the Bush Administration. Can't we just reitterate that this guy was a sub par waste of oval office space and move on?

Why is it that conservatives and George W. Bush always take pride in not following the polls? Doesn't that mean they decided to tell the majority of citizens that their opinion doesn't matter? Isn't our government based on the will of the people? Perhaps consistently telling the majority of Americans that their voice doesn't matter and you are just going to do whatever you want is the reason that you are now in the minority. Seriously folks, this post mocks itself far better than I ever could...

Chris Truscott wants a special session ALREADY? I think he just wants to see a three person tag team match between Kelliher/Sertich/Pogemiller and Pawlenty/Seifert/Senjem...

There are few things I enjoy more than seeing conservatives misinterpret the spanking they received from this past election season. Be MORE conservative and unbending in your ideology, THAT is the ticket!

You really have to giggle at the delusional fear of some conservatives to the incoming Administration. Are you scared that the Bush Administration is secretly listening to everyone's calls? NOPE, but I sure am scared that Obama was on a board once with a washed up hippy and that he will shut down talk radio even though there is no evidence to support such a claim.

That Tim Pawlenty is such a liberal commie pinko! Why won't he just cut that damned education because nobody needs know learnin'! When you believe that Pawlenty isn't conservative ENOUGH, you need to know that you are one of the fringe elements of your party. However, you should keep fighting for that TRUE conservative because it really has worked out well so far!

The six things I learned this week from skimming:

ALERT! ALERT! Aaron Brown is trying to lead another Revolution the purpose of which will be to seperate the Iron Range from Minnesota and possibly the United States itself. However, I could be wrong because I read it pretty fast...

Jeff Rosenberg got all nitpicky with his analysis of the state of state address. Really, isn't just saying the word CUTS sufficient enough for him to be heralded as making the tough decisions? It has taken considerable time and energy for Governor Pawlenty to defund sensible government thereby making it look bad enough so he can ultimately dismantle it. Can't you give the guy a little credit?

HEY, he isn't devoid of ideas! His ideas are just so devoid of common sense that it SEEMS like there isn't an idea there.

Few things warm my heart more than a nonsensical tirade in which someone claims their minority opinion as the opinion of the majority. I am no psychologist but isn't that a projection fantasy or delusions of grandeur or something like that? See, I told you it was a good principle that when all else fails, attack Tarryl Clark. GOSH, I cannot imagine who the "observer" is in this post...

In whose world is Mike Huckabee a socialist? How far down the right end of the spectrum do you need to travel in order to look at Huckabee and come to this conclusion? You guys keep throwing them under the bus and you will win for certain! I PROMISE!

HOLY CRAP, the Democratic leadership in Congress is pushing the Fairness Doctrine. Who are the magical creatures that can pass a doctrine without nary a bill in existence? Seriously, I thought Mitch Berg was supposed to be the smart one.

Apparently having someone who is gay in the military will demoralize the whole place. Really? I cannot imagine thinking to myself, "I just simply cannot fight because I am so worried that Joe is GAY". Get over it people...

At the same time, do we really have to get all bent out of shape that Barack Obama will use the word 'God' at his inauguration? Focus people, there are far more important issues with which to be concerned.

Joe the Plumber is an idiot. That is all...

I am not going to speak directly about the various posts up this week by Jeff Rosenberg. Why? Because somebody needs to find this Rosenberg fellow and kick the crap out of him. Seriously folks, this guy is making us look bad with his overly detailed analysis, his handy dandy charts, and all of the little features he keeps rolling out. Why can't he just copy and paste a bunch of stuff like the rest of us. It's time to round up the posse...

Oh, those crafty Democrats and their schemes to destroy the economy over the last eight years and then swoop in and fix the whole damn mess! Next time could you teach us how to make high quality tin foil hats? Also, Can someone please define for me the term, "conservative movie", and then explain to me what makes each one of these "conservative".