1:20 PM | Posted in ,

The Republicans are at it again with yet another secret endorsement convention.

The Republicans from 16B will meet in secret this Saturday at in Becker. At stake is the GOP endorsement where 9 term incumbent and anti all things science champion and convicted wife threatener Mark Olson will face the ethically challenged former Secretary of State and the spouse of the author of the now famous anti dildo bill: Mary Kiffmeyer. There are 2 others running for the seat but neither are nuts enough to receive the GOP nod at this convention. I understand that Olson is pledging not to get beaten by a woman this year.
Kiffmeyer and Olson agree on almost everything although Olson is more of a return to the 1600's guy while Kiffmeyer is more of an 11th century girl. "The 5 most dangerous words in the English language" Kiffmeyer points out is "separation of church and State". She can expect the endorsement of the President of Iran and many middle east terrorists who agree 100% with this view.

The main issue dividing these two titans of the extreme right is if you should use an overhand or underhanded motion to hurl bibles at your spouse and how much millage can you claim for reimbursement from Big Lake to the State capital. Olson thinks it’s about 50 miles and Kiffmeyer thinks it’s “a world away”. Both believe the only answer to climate change is praying, drilling for more oil and lower taxes.

Naturally whenever you have so many kooks in on room representing a political party the smartest thing for the adults to do is try every means at their disposal to keep any word uttered from reaching the general public. Therefore the press and any sane people will not be allowed into the convention. The meeting is not listed on the GOP website. The Party would not even confirm that the convention was on and would not answer ANY questions about it. The only thing the general public (you and me) will see is an after the fact press release.

The Republicans really had little to worry about, the only press that covers this area is the west Sherburne Tribune and the “Citizen”. Both are owned by the same person and he seldom has a disparaging word to say and little interest in the goings on at the State Capital.

Big Lake has almost 400 homes in foreclosure. It’s school district is almost last in per pupil funding and is laying off teachers in spite of a growing student population. It’s police force is in disarray, Becker is about to undergo tremendous change now the power plant will be paying far less in property taxes.

We may never know if these are the things the Republicans will be talking about this Saturday but I doubt it.